tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7137486548457649315.post7622931770698948411..comments2022-12-28T01:52:19.552+11:00Comments on Button Brain: Crickets chirpingbuttonbrainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02644950461887904205noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7137486548457649315.post-55812374817299711092012-07-29T09:43:48.430+10:002012-07-29T09:43:48.430+10:00Hello my friend! And yes we did stand on the fring...Hello my friend! And yes we did stand on the fringe of the group together for 5 yrs - actually longer if you count all the way back to Yr 4. We did tell ourselves we were individuals but really, we were all following a different leader, and all soooo desperately afraid of being rejected by the 'group'. <br />I can't imagine the fear you must be feeling about your gorgeous bub, and with a sporadic Ambulance service, Oh Wow! I'm pleased you are getting some answers finally as to why he has been so unwell, so now there are decisions to be made. <br />I think that is the crossroad. When you thought you knew what the plan was and then suddenly there is a road diversion. I have sat at that intersection several times.. it's terrifying!<br />I am here for you, you can call me, I will listen. And I don't care what your hair looks like or if you're wearing your pajamas.<br />xxxxxxxbuttonbrainhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02644950461887904205noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7137486548457649315.post-36117384075680443602012-07-29T09:04:05.613+10:002012-07-29T09:04:05.613+10:00And this is the rest of it ....... Fitting in ... ...And this is the rest of it ....... Fitting in ... We spent 5 years of highschool in that fringe group together. I liked to think we were individuals, odd-balls I suppose, who by choice made our own group and then mixed with the other groups as we wished. I think the reality was we would never have been accepted into the other groups. When I did mix with them I also felt unsure, self conscious, inadequate, fake and never knowing if or when they would reject me. <br />I talk a lot and that hides my nervousness around anyone that I am not married or related to. I will occasionally get tongue tied and mispronounce my words which I think gives me away. I practically never shop for clothes so I have a constant struggle to find something decent in my cupboard. I lost my baby weight and more but then put it right back on so I now feel sluggish and self conscious about my spare tyre. I'm too lazy to put up with those tight uncomfortable control pants to bother to hide it. Make-up makes my skin bad so I rarely use it either. I consistently tie my long hair up with a band and have never got myself a proper adult hairstyle. <br />In my own head I am strong and self assured but when put in a more 'together' group of people I realise I am that same old misfit that is trying to be cool. I try to be calm and collected on the outside but inside I am scared too. Maybe nothing ever really changes...WA mumhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13467871385684352724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7137486548457649315.post-24089322306693084842012-07-29T09:02:37.088+10:002012-07-29T09:02:37.088+10:00What you write in this post has such a resonance f...What you write in this post has such a resonance for me at this time in my life. I have an unsettling feeling that I too am at a crossroads, that shortly things will change dramatically and forever. I don't think I am depressed but I am dissatisfied and listless. I have lost my drive and enthusiasm. I don't feel challenged or compelled to try very hard. I feel like I am a passenger on a ride where you can't see the end, I don't remember when I got on but it's not always felt like this. Perhaps it is a rollercoaster and we are slowly climbing. It's like the background volume is slowly getting louder as we climb and soon the rollercoaster will be hurtling down the slope and ..... well I don't know.<br />There are a few things happening that could explain. I had my first baby ten months ago and have been on maternity leave. My brain feels old and muddled and I fear I will never be able to add up numbers in my head again. (Who am I kidding, I AM old, I will be forty next year and I still want to crank out another one or two kids!). I am due to return to work in 3 weeks time and my Family Day Care for Wed-Thurs just fell through. So now I only have Monday with one Childcare Centre and Tuesday with another and no care for the rest of the week. There is a massive shortage of childcare in the town where we live and I have been on the waiting list for 4 centres since January. Apparently I needed to register when I was pregnant. <br />Last week it was confirmed, that my little boy is anaphylactic to dairy and egg, intolerant of wheat and peanuts look a 'bit iffy'. He is only 8kg and that is too light for an Epi-pen so the current response to an allergic reaction is to give him an oral antihistamine and ring an ambulance. A problem being we live in the far northwest of Western Australia and our ambulance service is voluntary so while dedicated and caring they are not exactly in uniform and ready to roll. I don't like the thought of him being at two or more different centres because it increases the risk of someone getting it wrong and feeding him the wrong food. I am scared they will be required to wait for an ambulance instead of throwing him in a car and driving the 4 minutes to hospital. Last week they gave him lactose free yoghurt and we ended up in hospital overnight as they pumped drugs into him to stop the allergic reaction. He is generally a happy and healthy bubba as long as no-one feeds him food that could kill him. So we are thinking of getting an au pair but this will not come together in time for me to return to work. <br />I guess this is my crossroads. Do I abandon the idea of returning to work for 12 months before having another baby or do we try to scramble to get an au pair to look after him at home. Do I risk childcare for a few weeks until an au pair can be arranged? By the way, how do you get weight on a baby that can't eat egg, butter, milk, yoghurt, cheese or custard?WA mumhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13467871385684352724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7137486548457649315.post-45051822653639426742012-07-28T18:17:00.494+10:002012-07-28T18:17:00.494+10:00Out of everything I gained from the conference, I ...Out of everything I gained from the conference, I count your friendship as number 1! <br /><br />Goes both ways my friend. Here for you anytime (you still do have my number, don't you? Yours is programmed into my phone,,,)Madmotherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18189416781378632230noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7137486548457649315.post-64619548540453517092012-07-27T08:59:32.515+10:002012-07-27T08:59:32.515+10:00Wine and timtams at the ready love! Sometimes we g...Wine and timtams at the ready love! Sometimes we get so used to wearing the mask, we even forget it's there. Here if you need a sounding board or wailing wall xxx My Mum and Dad are my personal cheer-squad, don't know how or if I would have survived without them.buttonbrainhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02644950461887904205noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7137486548457649315.post-56273334279385910332012-07-27T07:52:01.111+10:002012-07-27T07:52:01.111+10:00Wow - missed this one.
Scarily apt as last night ...Wow - missed this one.<br /><br />Scarily apt as last night I sat in bed and wondered who I could let the mask drop with no that my Mum is gone. She is the one that saw through the facade, the bravado, the "hey, I'm so tough I am superwoman" to the lost little girl inside.<br /><br />Would love to join your group. So long as we can sit with wine and tim tams and tears whilst we hold each other's hands and let it all burst forth.<br /><br />xxMadmotherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18189416781378632230noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7137486548457649315.post-72883070669858782022012-07-22T00:49:29.892+10:002012-07-22T00:49:29.892+10:00Missed you L! glad you posted. Agree wholeheartedl...Missed you L! glad you posted. Agree wholeheartedly with other comments. DDenyse Whelan.https://www.blogger.com/profile/16888810644186418559noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7137486548457649315.post-77153373497923377502012-07-21T20:26:01.095+10:002012-07-21T20:26:01.095+10:00I love you :-) And yes I agree and understand....t...I love you :-) And yes I agree and understand....that's why I work at home...No one else to deal with!!!Cathyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08083602063475528622noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7137486548457649315.post-73392350352869045092012-07-20T06:24:38.342+10:002012-07-20T06:24:38.342+10:00Wow Lisa, I had wondered where you'd gone :) I...Wow Lisa, I had wondered where you'd gone :) I agree with everything Debyl above says. It's easy to say don't worry so much what people think, but obviously not as easy to do. I've gotten a lot better at this over the years, but also I've worked for myself for 10 years, so I haven't had to be part of a workplace, and I know that politics exist in those environments, and I'm not sure how I would go there either. Your "outspokenness" meant you reached out to me on DP and gave me some fantastic advice, so I'm glad you're opinionated :) Maybe you just need to find the people who like your qualities so you don't feel you need to adjust them to be liked. Also, try to reconnect with hubby. I can't imagine what it is like to be with someone for 21 years - I hope I will :) But I've had one long term relationship fail and I know how much work it takes. It can't be expected to grow without attention. I love your line: "I am 21 years deep into a growing relationship". Hope to hear more from you, when you're ready. xThe Kids Are All Righthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15767765308684598060noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7137486548457649315.post-27497870931933394822012-07-19T14:39:53.823+10:002012-07-19T14:39:53.823+10:00Totally understand Lisa.I have had season friends ...Totally understand Lisa.I have had season friends and its sad when the season is over.<br />I always try to make happy and kind as thats how I was raised and I feel good in helping others.<br />I was a nurse and worked in nursing homes so get where you are comimg from.Staff can have their groups just like in high school.<br />At the moment my mum has gone into one and I try and see her everyday and now my 18 year old baby girl has a broken heart and being on uni break needs me so much more now.Hubby is here patiently waiting for when I can have time with him also.Feel torn in everyway.<br />So Im not really part of a group either and dont know where I fit in but am glad you didnt press delete.At least with twitter and blogs we can be part of a community that is always there for eachother no matter what time of day or night.For that I am thankful as at least it gives some sense of belonging.<br />I think with your blog you are doing a wonderful job of being you.<br />You write open and honest and are unique in your own special way.<br />Keep up the great work.You touch people and make a difference.Debyl1.xx<br />.Debylhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15782539159939526628noreply@blogger.com