Things I know - Raw

I know it sounds cliché , I know I am supposed to be far more enlightened.
I know that every step towards independence is a good thing and I know he will be alright.
But my heart aches.
It aches, raw and exposed.

My baby is not a baby and although many moments and footsteps have brought us to this place, although I have had many warning signs and A-ha moments, right now I am absolutely struggling with the fact that my baby does not need me.

He tolerates me, he humours me.
He loves me and quickly cuddles me in the morning, fleetingly and then he's gone.
It's as though he knows that if he lingers too long within my arms, in my clutching embrace, I just might not let him go.


I know how to love, and to protect fiercely.
I know how to close ranks, and I know how to close the doors.
If you need a master in shutting out the world, an expert in finding a quiet, safe haven, a retreat, I'm your girl. But ....

I don't know how to do this.
I don't know how to let go.

 

 

What I know, (and what I don't know) with Rhianna at A Parenting Life

 

 

Don't rain on my Tonka Truck - Things I Know

Lately I'm noticing there is someone eager to rain on every parade passing through town.

Did you buy your little girl a doll? You must be an anti-feminist.
Did you give your child a bottle? You must be an uneducated, uncaring mother.
Did you have takeaway for dinner last night? You must be a lazy sloth.
Did you get excited about the new Royal Baby? You are a royalist anti-Australian.
Did you stop your dog from sleeping on the bed? You need to be reported to the RSPCA.
Did you give a friends brand new baby boy a shirt with a truck on it? You are a sexist pig.

So in the interests of full disclosure, here's some facts. Unfollow if you feel the need.

I don't only buy my kids educational toys.
I don't have a set bedtime for my kids. 
Not everything that passes their lips will be nutritional and every now and then,we have pancakes with icecream and maple syrup for dinner!
I'm not a big fan of homework and I don't know what any of my kids have due for homework this week or this month.
I am pleased His Little Royal Highness arrived safely because who on earth would wish for a different outcome?
My dogs sleep on my bed. Deal with it.
I breast fed all my kids at some stage. I gave all my kids bottles at some stage. I challenge you to pick which one got the breast milk the longest.
I'm not a feminist or an anti-feminist.
I am not affiliated with any political party and often can't remember which party is in power.
I don't believe a childhood toy can determine a child's femininity or masculinity, nor do I think giving gender specific toys will damage or determine their sexuality, their views or respect for the opposite sex or stereotype them.

A very good friend of mine became a Nana last year with the birth of a beautiful little boy. I gave him a big fat Yellow Tonka truck!
It's tradition in our family that every little boy gets a Tonka truck.

 

Nawwwww Tonka truck baby cuteness !

Two friends of mine were horrified at this gender specific present and thought that as a caring modern woman I should give a non-sex-specific dragonfly rattle in neutral primary colours. (Because I might forever change who he is destined to be, based solely on my inappropriate Tonka Truck gift)

But with 4 kids on my black belt, I know that a gender specific toy makes no difference to who or what they grow up to be.

I have three daughters and they all received a small soft baby doll when they were born.

They have (in order of appearance)

a) absolutely refused to play with dolls or wear dresses or anything 'girlie'
b) adored dresses, girlie makeup and put her babies in "babysitting" if she played with them as she 'had to go to work"( I wasn't working, she didn't go to day care... ???)
c) asked God to make her into a beautiful fairy princess and mothered her baby dolls until they begged for mercy.
.
The same three girls have (in order of appearance)

a) Dreamt of becoming a dragon during the night hours so she can be a dragon taxi, currently planning a career in Childcare.
b) played with dolls for about a year then moved on to stuffed animals and practised her veterinary skills, currently planning on becoming a personal trainer.
c) loved playing Legos, trains and matchbox cars and still plays with her dolls, currently planning to become a princess or a train driver.

The gift of a doll hasn't forever limited them to the role of 1950's housewife. None of them are planning to have 12 children or to become the next sister-wife.

*As for our son.. he played with dolls, cars and trucks, trains, tea sets and cows. Yes. cows. He had a cement cow (a painted cement garden ornament he found at a Sunday market when he was 2 and fell in love with.) That cold hard cow was walked in his pram, sat next to him at the dinner table, had stories read to it. and was tucked into bed each night for 2 years. Until one sad night when Cow fell out of bed and broke in half. Oh Dear! - LOL.*

What do you know? Share it over with Miss Cinders.