not ready

I'm in a weird place right now.

A twinkling, twilightly kind of space.
Three of my children have grown to be adults.
Like....ADULTS.. !
How is that even possible?

It was a blink ago that they were wee small toddlers and I was worrying over whether they ate enough vegetables ( about 22% of the time)  or if they understood the concept of sharing ( about 0.3% of the time).

It was only yesterday I walked my sweet first born in to his Prep classroom and handed him over to the education department. It was only this morning that my first daughter lost her first tooth.
Surely it was only a heartbeat ago that I held my second daughter, fresh out of the humidicrib (and whispered, " oh my darling girl, you will be trouble").

And yet here I am, with fully grown adult children , setting forth into the world boldly and randomly in a non-mum-approved manner.

My second child is all set to fly to THE OTHER SIDE OF THE PLANET in a weeks time, all set for a cosplaying Anime convention in the good ole USA. Am I ready for that ?

arrrm.....

Nope.
No.
Hell No!

I'm breathing, and meditating and trying to remember that it's just a concept of space or distance ( and just secretly googling flight prices to the US in case I need to go and rescue/ search for/ extradite or generally bring home second child)