Back on the game

Hello lovely patient people.

Did I tell you I am studying to be a nurse?
I am and it's hard work! I am already blessed with 4 gorgeous kids, and a great husband who tolerates my scatteredness. I design for the craft industry ( although less now than in the past) and I am more than halfway towards becoming an enrolled Div 2 Nurse. I am so relieved to be over the halfway hump, but daunted by the next 10 months work. In just 2 weeks I go on placement for Acute and then straight into mental health/ district nursing placement.

For the past month I have had my head in my books, studying and writing and generally trying to inspire those tired brain cells to absorb just a little more info.

What I have learned is that evn though it is hard work, I am so much more enthusiastic about classes and assignments because I have chosen to be there...instead of because my parents said I have to go to school.
I can see where my new knowledge will be used as opposed to trying ( unsuccessfully) to figure out how far a boat would be from the cliff if the angle from the boat to the lighthouse is....BLAGGGHH.

It intrigues me that even though a teenager knows that study and schooling is essential to become independant, even then, the IMPORTANCE of that knowledge is lost on them. It isn't until often years later that they can see the point of all that algebra, analysis of written word and biology experiments.

And isn't that the same as life???? We are given lessons in life, love and learning and at the time we don't see the point or purpose. We want to skip class and go have some fun. We can't see the outcome or the relevance or the "why" of the lesson.

A few years ago we turned to IVF to have our beautiful daughter. At the time I struggled with the effort, heartache and disappointment that accompanies the journey through IVF. There were many tears. Many hopeful, heartbroken and angry prayers. Many times when I felt ripped off and let down.
And finally, our darling Sarah was born, perfect and wonderful.

Four years later I offered to donate my eggs to a couple who had no children.
Because of my experience I understood their craving.
Because of my experience I was unafraid of the IVF process.
Because of my experience I could offer real comfort when things didn't work.
Because of my experience I could celebrate with joy for them when a perfect little boy was born.



When I needed IVF for my own child I did not understand why it had to be so hard. Now looking back I see every part of it as a blessing. Lesson learned, class complete.

I hope you are happy safe and well, I hope you can see that even though times in life can be awful and unkind, there will come a time when some one else will need you to step forward and say "I've been there. It's going to be okay".
xxxx

Camping Young style

It is school holidays here but also cold and rainy. I am unable to take the kids away on holiday, so we decided to camp out.

First and most important to a 6 yr old is the campfire for toasting marshmallows. I loaded up the metal wheelbarrow with kindling and redgum and we had a gorgeous fire going, with room for my vegies roasting on the side -

We invited friends around and had a ball. It wasn't perfect but it was just fine.

Next was where to sleep. Luckily we have plenty of tents and a big backyard.

But then it rained.

And rained.

And rained.

Sarah made her little campsite.

Doesn't she look cosy? She ought to with ducted heating and electric lights.
Her tent was pitched in the loungeroom.

Again not perfect, but just fine for us. She had a lovely night sleep ( except for the 13 or so times that the kitten jumped on her roof), stayed very warm and dry, and stayed in her tent til 11am the next day - awesome!!!

I felt bad that I couldn't take the kids on a "WOW" holiday, but in the end, they have had a beautiful time here in our own home. Isn't it funny how often what we need is right under our noses?

Hope you all have a happy Easter, don't eat too much chocolate,
Much love
Lisa

Human Origami

I am a mother.

I have four awesome, wonderful children, and for most of the time I am parenting by myself as my husband works away. This means I have become very skilled at multi-tasking. I can cook spaghetti while I check homework and stitch a button back onto a school uniform. I can breastfeed a baby while I chase a toddler down the hallway, stopping momentarily to throw a load of clothes into the washing machine. I can vacuum, recite favourite recipes and de-flea the dog all at the same time. I have become an expert at cooking in bulk and freezing, I am studying (and passing) my nursing degree and still managed to squeeze in a few minutes of chat time with hubby ...sometimes.

I am also proficient in human origami, when several bodies attempt to share one small space and end up wrapped up like...

Night before last, in my bed it was like a crazy school roll call, with me, small child, dog, big cat and kitten. 

As you might imagine it was cramped. It was also a ridiculously long, sleepless night for me and yet 'Mother Martyr' persevered. After all, the child was feeling scared and unhappy in her bed, Dog is used to jumping on the bed at night, big cat is doing so well to tolerate the kitten so close and little kitten is so cute - how could I say no?? But I needed to sleep and no-one seemed to care that I was uncomfortable and clinging to the side of the bed. GRRRR, why do cats have that uncanny knack of selecting the very centre of the bed?

We rolled out of bed at 6.30 am and got going for the day, and all day - I mean ALL day- I have whined about being tired. "Such a terrible nights sleep",  "I'm exhausted", "Well at least you got some sleep last night...."

Then I visited a friend of mine, my reality friend - I hope you have one. She tells me the truth even when it is soooo not what I want to hear, and doesn't allow me to get away with much.

I started my whinge ( and by now I had tale of woe well worded, having practiced it a number of times) and she stopped me. 

She asked me if I knew the bed was too cramped at 11pm. "Yes." 

Did I toss and turn and know I was going to be overtired today. "Hmmm Yes." 

Was there an empty bed I could have gone to, or could I have removed all furry critters? "Ummm Yes". 

Then she delivered the killer punch. "So you chose to spend the night like that, just so you could whine today about being tired. Stop the pity party, you did this to yourself."

It stung a bit, but I knew she was right. I could have moved, or moved the little child, or kicked one or all the animals off the bed. I chose to stay in the cramped bed, and I knew I was also choosing  to be tired. Even writing this now, it seems so silly to have allowed myself to have a sleepness night because I didn't want to disturb a cat. 

As I left her house my friend hugged me and said " If you don't take care of you, how can you expect anyone else to." 

So last night, I declared my bedroom no-go zone ( remember hubby works away- he would have been given an access pass LOL). Small child slept in her own bed, after stories and reassurance. Dog slept in her own bed ( yes she does have one), big cat curled up on the couch and kitten slept... well I don't know where but it wasn't with me.

And this morning ...I feel awesome!!!

Gonna do my best to stop the pity party events.

Have a fantastic day

much love

Lisa

xxx

About to Burst

There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.  ~Anaïs Nin

Have you ever felt like the 'happy' was going to just bust you open if you didn't let it out? It's like a tightly wound spring just waiting for release and when you finally let it loose, it just goes bouncing all over the place, happy and boing-ing everywhere.  

That's how I feel today. I am acutely aware of the many blessings in my life, four awesome, healthy kids, a great husband who provides all for us, a rich and abundant lifestyle in one of the most blessed countries on earth. I have the freedom to study and further my education, to walk down the street without fear, my daughters are as valued as my son, I have enough in pocket to be able to give away some.

And all around me, there are little pockets of joy - a smile from a baby, yummy, plentiful food in the fridge, a pretty fabric in my quilt box, music that makes me dance.. life is full of joy if you are willing to stop and look for it.Take a few minutes today to write down your blessings - doesn't matter where, brain storm your life and acknowledge on paper every blessing in your life, even the fact that instant coffee and chocolate were invented within our lifetime.... Wow!!! How awesome and happy and blessed are you!!!

Hope you are all bouncing in your own happy bubbles today

Much Love

Lisa

xxx

Fence sitting

I wanted to share my most favourite poem ever. I remember my brother David teaching it to me, and it has been part of who I am in so many ways ever since.

Come sit down beside me,

I said to myself,

And although it doesn't make sense, 

I held my own hand,

As a small sign of trust,

and together, I sat on the fence.

 

Written by Michael Leunig

I love this! To me ( and I'm sure there are many other interpretations ) it means that even if I am alone in my convictions, even if no-one else will sit beside me, I am strong enough to hold my own hand, and to trust my own instincts. 

Mr Leunig is an immensely talented Australian poet, writer and artist. What a gift to be able to express something so awesome in just a few words.

**sigh**

Love

Lisa

xxx

selfless acts

 

I found this quote yesterday and it really stopped me in my tracks. It is the ultimate description of selflessness.

Acting with kindness, giving generously, sharing our time and resources is so much sweeter when it is given freely, without any expectation of return.

When I was a young girl I was a Brownie ( a Jnr Girl Guide) and one of the challenges was to do secret acts of kindness. The idea was that no-one would know it was you, and therefore you knew there would be no thanks, apart from the pleasure someone else gained. It was a tricky concept for young kids to grasp but such an important lesson. I remember sneaking out and laying the breakfast table, before anyone else was up. Polishing my sisters shoes, tidying the lounge. Of course Mum knew it was me but she played the 'secret' game.

I'm trying to teach my children the same concept, and hope to help them grow into giving, generous people. We can achieved so much and change so much in our world if together we gave freely, without a hidden agenda or an eye on our wallets. Giveaway the baby stuff ( rather than listing it for a few pennies on ebay!), take magazines to the Dr's, pop a coin in a parking meter, mow the neighbors front lawn, and babysit for free. Let's be like the sun and continue to shine the way & lead by example.

Lisa

xxx

The Journey

We are all rushing around like bees in a bottle.

Got to do more, earn more, see more. 

We spend our lives looking desperately over our shoulder at the people coming up behind, younger, smarter, faster, more worldly and more ruthless.

They weren't joking when they called it the Human Race, we are all literally running for our lives. From the moment our feet hit the floor in the morning we are on a mission to complete jobs, multi-tasking the to-do list until we fall into bed at night exhausted. Even then our minds race with all the drama of today and the planning of tomorrow, the future.

We eat on the run, we talk on the phone while we are driving, we communicate via email to cut out the small talk, we pay other people to walk our own pets. We have 5 minute bible meditations emailed to us because we haven't got any more time.

People taking a vacation are not content to find a shady tree and plonk down with a good book, we want to cram in 6 states worth of major landmarks, a whistle stop tour of monuments, ticking off the list of 15000 things you must see before you die. Jump out of the car take a photo, then jump back in and race to the next item. 

If we have kids they are often over scheduled to within an inch of sanity, so they can be super achievers, top athletes, the prettiest, smartest or at the very least most experienced. Heaven forbid they should have free play and down time making mud pies. We are playing Mozart and holding up flashcards to newborns, potty training at 9 months and rushing them to school before their dimpled toddler legs have grown out. Gotta get ahead, accelerated learning, straight A's at the alphabet..pressure.pressure.pressure....!

Amongst all that rush, does anyone actually stop and examine what they are feeling,? Is there any joy in this madness. "Am I taking the time to enjoy any of these 'must-do' experiences?" We are so busy doing we forget the whole point of being.

The saddest thing is most people rush like crazy until they die. They fail to realise that this is  the destination. This life full of experiences is the whole event. This is not a dress rehearsal, and the future they are planning for... it's here right now!

This is it, this life, it is the destination. 

Let's stop and take a big breath.

Let's get off the roller coaster and take a quiet stroll. 

Let's spend the weekend doing nothing productive.

Let's allow encourage our children to be children, 

Let's hold our babies, even after they are asleep, just to keep looking at them.

Let's visit a friend and wander in the garden.

Let's go to the park and fly a kite.

Let's walk our dogs and say "hi" to our neighbors.

Let's take up a hobby without the aim of making money from it.

Let's lie on a blanket and gaze at the stars.

Let's bring the joy and silliness and wonder back into our world

Much Love

Lisa

xxx