Advance warning - don't read if you are looking for warm fuzzy feelings and a pat on the back.
Hey! girl I know... stop whinging!!!!! You sit here at lunch time telling me that you are about to lose your house, yet you can afford to smoke, to drink, to buy your lunch. Your two toddler kids have every video game and DVD ever created and it is nothing for them to eat a whole block of cheese in one day. You tell us that you are living on the poverty line, but you are eating expensive takeout. The rego on the 3 cars in your garage is killing you and you just don't know how you will pay for the kids karate lesson this week.
.
Here is the news flash princess. If you want to have more money in your bank account try GOING WITHOUT!!!
Try giving up smoking, try actually saying "no" to your kids. Grab a Toddler care book and read up on the nutritional requirements for their age and then stop over-feeding & over-indulging them. Don't tell me they just help themselves, BE A PARENT and actually watch and discipline them!
Another idea- don't take them to karate, the little horrors already know how to kick the crap out of each other and their possessions, have a look at the piles of broken abandoned toys on the yard. Yes I understand that dog food is a killer, but you are the dumbarse who decided to own 3 enormous staffies, so either feed them or re-house them. And while you are at it, it would be a nice touch if you actually registered and micro-chipped them...you know.. like the rest of us do!
It's a tragedy that you had to get a new television because Mr4 punched the old one and knocked it off the stand. But I'm pretty sure that you didn't have to buy a 3D monster TV with computer access. Big suprise, you put it on your store credit card, because once again your eyes and your ego is bigger than your bank account or your brains.
We've all struggled, we've all had bills, heck I used to whip the margarine to make it go further.. stop whining, take some responsibility and step up!!!
Bring your lunch, don't buy it. Give the kids an apple and tell them "that is all". Have baked beans on toast. Sell a car. Sell two cars. Get a JOB!
Just stop whinging.
THINGS I'D LOVE TO SAY BUT WON'T
Monday, March 5, 2012
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Aspergers - The Carnival Ride
Like so many young romantic couples, we bought tickets to go on the Carousel.
Many of our friends had already gone on it and said it was great. It looked like fun and we could afford it. We had to wait in line, but we had friends waiting too, so it was a good, gossipy wait, talking about what it would be like.
When we finally got through the gates, none of our friends were near us.The ride started and almost immediately, we realised that we were on the wrong ride.
Our seats didn't look like the other seats, and the cars banged and crashed and made weird noises. The seat belts pinched and I felt the first tentacles of fear sneaking into my heart.
A man popped out in a white coat and told us we were on the Monster Crash Roller Coaster. He smiled in a detached way and sent us through the big swinging doors.
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The Roller Coaster is not at all like the Carousel. It is unpredictable, frightening and fast. There are exhilarating highs and stomach churning free-fall drops. There is always a jagged corner hurtling towards you and you never really know where you will go next. You can't hear anyone else because there is so much other noise, and sometimes you actually scream in true fear.
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Even with someone sitting right next to you, there are moments when you feel totally and desperately alone.
You can see the carousel in the distance, with it's pretty lights and gentle well groomed ponies.
Your friends are watching you, as you fly through the air, hair tangled, clothes askew. You can't explain to them why you aren't sitting nicely or why you need to hang on so tight. You know from where they sit, you look wild eyed and out of control. You wish you were sitting on a happy little pony, not this monster ride.
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You start to worry that you will not make it to the end. You worry the safety rail will fly open, that your car will derail. You forget to breath. Your stomach churns and your fingers ache with the effort of holding on.You close your eyes and wish for it to be over, to be different.
But then... you stop and really concentrate. Your heart is leaping, not only in fear but also in the most incredible joy. You are starting to anticipate the climb and then the drop. You learn to hang on tight in the scary bits, and you open your eyes and really look at the world from the very peak of the steep climbs.
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The world looks so different up here, and none of those people on the Carousel can possibly see the world from this angle.
They have no idea how beautiful it can be up here.
At the last climb and free fall, you are grinning, eyes wide open.
As you reach the peak, you let go of the safety bar and raise your hands over your head and welcome the rush.
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The ride slows down and we turn to each other, grinning from ear to ear. No, it wasn't the Merry-go-round ride we anticipated. It was so, so much more.
We have since then ridden on the Carousel. It is fun and wonderful too. But there is always a special place in our hearts for the Roller Coaster... what a ride.
Many of our friends had already gone on it and said it was great. It looked like fun and we could afford it. We had to wait in line, but we had friends waiting too, so it was a good, gossipy wait, talking about what it would be like.
When we finally got through the gates, none of our friends were near us.The ride started and almost immediately, we realised that we were on the wrong ride.
Our seats didn't look like the other seats, and the cars banged and crashed and made weird noises. The seat belts pinched and I felt the first tentacles of fear sneaking into my heart.
A man popped out in a white coat and told us we were on the Monster Crash Roller Coaster. He smiled in a detached way and sent us through the big swinging doors.
***************
Even with someone sitting right next to you, there are moments when you feel totally and desperately alone.
You can see the carousel in the distance, with it's pretty lights and gentle well groomed ponies.
Your friends are watching you, as you fly through the air, hair tangled, clothes askew. You can't explain to them why you aren't sitting nicely or why you need to hang on so tight. You know from where they sit, you look wild eyed and out of control. You wish you were sitting on a happy little pony, not this monster ride.
You start to worry that you will not make it to the end. You worry the safety rail will fly open, that your car will derail. You forget to breath. Your stomach churns and your fingers ache with the effort of holding on.You close your eyes and wish for it to be over, to be different.
But then... you stop and really concentrate. Your heart is leaping, not only in fear but also in the most incredible joy. You are starting to anticipate the climb and then the drop. You learn to hang on tight in the scary bits, and you open your eyes and really look at the world from the very peak of the steep climbs.
The world looks so different up here, and none of those people on the Carousel can possibly see the world from this angle.
They have no idea how beautiful it can be up here.
At the last climb and free fall, you are grinning, eyes wide open.
As you reach the peak, you let go of the safety bar and raise your hands over your head and welcome the rush.
***************
The ride slows down and we turn to each other, grinning from ear to ear. No, it wasn't the Merry-go-round ride we anticipated. It was so, so much more.
We have since then ridden on the Carousel. It is fun and wonderful too. But there is always a special place in our hearts for the Roller Coaster... what a ride.
Friday, February 3, 2012
Week 3 challenge - 2 weeks late
The 52 weeks Simplify Your Life Challenge for week 3 was to create our family's mission statement.
It has taken me two weeks to sit down and type out how this works out for us.
Our household is complicated. Probably no more than most of the rest of the world. but there are unique challenges and issues and stumbling blocks. The idea of creating a mission statement which accurately reflects the values and beliefs for each member of this household is like asking me to shoot the moon with a nerf gun!
I am a recovering post natal/post teen depression person who has worked really really REALLY hard to let go of many control issues in my world. I used to clean my house like a crazy person. Up at 4am to domestos the bathroom each morning, the floor (and children) were vacuumed at least daily, if I sat down I felt sick because there was so much else I should be doing. I was an extremely uptight, over protective, over disciplining angry mother. I was a nasty screaming banshee of a wife. I didn't have many friends ( who'd want to go there??). I found it almost impossible to make the most basic of decisions, and so I would go along with things I didn't want because I didn't have the energy to stand up.
Then I got help.
I got medication.
I got counselling.
I got a back bone.
I have morphed into a messy, crafty, creative mum. I would rather play Nintendo challenge with my daughter than clean the house. I have been known to serve Apple Pie and icecream for dinner (Fruit, carbs, milk... what's wrong with that?) I have discovered that not only am I capable of making a decision, I am also pretty stubborn once I have chosen. I'm a hippie on the inside and think that there is more to life than just drifting through.
Sounds good doesn't it?
Except that my husband originally married a neat freak. A tightly controlled house proud compliant little wifey. He got his way in almost every instance because I didn't have the brain space to put together a legible argument ( imagine a screaming two year old having a tantrum.. that was me). Dinner was on the table at 6.15pm, children in bed at 7.30pm sharp.
So now, with the *new and improved* Lisa there are new things to negotiate. He is a neat freak, so he is NOT happy that I longer clean 12 hours a day. He is used to getting his way so he is NOT happy when I calmly say "I disagree". No longer can he argue that I'm not making any sense. This is not the wife he married, but this is now the wife he has... tricky. To his credit he stuck by me at my most outrageous, low points, and he stands by me now even when I make him crazy, even when the house is chaos and there is no dinner planned for the next fortnight. He doesn't like it. but he stands by me.
Add to this a child who has Aspergers, who has s-t-r-u-g-g-l-e-d through 13 years of school. And a daughter who is so dreamy and lost in art-world that she is hard to communicate with at times. And another daughter who is 13 and gorgeous but so so so "teenager" that she should be on Hannah Montana. And another littler daughter, an IVF blessing who is like a whole separate family really as she doesn't really fit with the teenagers at all.
So how do we all, such different creatures, find a single mission statement that we can live by? I have thought about this alot. I could create a mission board - husband would not be impressed - he doesn't do 'touchy-feely crap'. I could create one by myself, but then it's just my mission statement, not a family one.Can I write one and demand they accept it? Do they even need to know that in my heart one exists?
And each day for the past fortnight, simple words come to me, until they are screaming so loud I have to write them down for you. It's corny, and overly simple. But our mission statement, the simple mantra we live by in this house, daily, hourly, every nano-second is just -
Four words, but they sum up every step of our married life and parenting. From teaching the 2 year old to not belt his newborn sister, to choosing words carefully so they are not hurtful. From considering our actions and ensuring they will not be hurtful or harmful to the family, to teaching a 17 yr old to drive.
It is not flowery or oozing with gooey words of devotion. It's honest and it is the starting point of decision making in our home.. Our mission statement is that in all things we will do no harm.
It has taken me two weeks to sit down and type out how this works out for us.
Our household is complicated. Probably no more than most of the rest of the world. but there are unique challenges and issues and stumbling blocks. The idea of creating a mission statement which accurately reflects the values and beliefs for each member of this household is like asking me to shoot the moon with a nerf gun!
I am a recovering post natal/post teen depression person who has worked really really REALLY hard to let go of many control issues in my world. I used to clean my house like a crazy person. Up at 4am to domestos the bathroom each morning, the floor (and children) were vacuumed at least daily, if I sat down I felt sick because there was so much else I should be doing. I was an extremely uptight, over protective, over disciplining angry mother. I was a nasty screaming banshee of a wife. I didn't have many friends ( who'd want to go there??). I found it almost impossible to make the most basic of decisions, and so I would go along with things I didn't want because I didn't have the energy to stand up.
Then I got help.
I got medication.
I got counselling.
I got a back bone.
I have morphed into a messy, crafty, creative mum. I would rather play Nintendo challenge with my daughter than clean the house. I have been known to serve Apple Pie and icecream for dinner (Fruit, carbs, milk... what's wrong with that?) I have discovered that not only am I capable of making a decision, I am also pretty stubborn once I have chosen. I'm a hippie on the inside and think that there is more to life than just drifting through.
Sounds good doesn't it?
Except that my husband originally married a neat freak. A tightly controlled house proud compliant little wifey. He got his way in almost every instance because I didn't have the brain space to put together a legible argument ( imagine a screaming two year old having a tantrum.. that was me). Dinner was on the table at 6.15pm, children in bed at 7.30pm sharp.
So now, with the *new and improved* Lisa there are new things to negotiate. He is a neat freak, so he is NOT happy that I longer clean 12 hours a day. He is used to getting his way so he is NOT happy when I calmly say "I disagree". No longer can he argue that I'm not making any sense. This is not the wife he married, but this is now the wife he has... tricky. To his credit he stuck by me at my most outrageous, low points, and he stands by me now even when I make him crazy, even when the house is chaos and there is no dinner planned for the next fortnight. He doesn't like it. but he stands by me.
Add to this a child who has Aspergers, who has s-t-r-u-g-g-l-e-d through 13 years of school. And a daughter who is so dreamy and lost in art-world that she is hard to communicate with at times. And another daughter who is 13 and gorgeous but so so so "teenager" that she should be on Hannah Montana. And another littler daughter, an IVF blessing who is like a whole separate family really as she doesn't really fit with the teenagers at all.
So how do we all, such different creatures, find a single mission statement that we can live by? I have thought about this alot. I could create a mission board - husband would not be impressed - he doesn't do 'touchy-feely crap'. I could create one by myself, but then it's just my mission statement, not a family one.Can I write one and demand they accept it? Do they even need to know that in my heart one exists?
And each day for the past fortnight, simple words come to me, until they are screaming so loud I have to write them down for you. It's corny, and overly simple. But our mission statement, the simple mantra we live by in this house, daily, hourly, every nano-second is just -
Four words, but they sum up every step of our married life and parenting. From teaching the 2 year old to not belt his newborn sister, to choosing words carefully so they are not hurtful. From considering our actions and ensuring they will not be hurtful or harmful to the family, to teaching a 17 yr old to drive.
It is not flowery or oozing with gooey words of devotion. It's honest and it is the starting point of decision making in our home.. Our mission statement is that in all things we will do no harm.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Week 2 -My Core Values
Part 2 Of Week 2 "52 weeks to Simplify Your Life Challenge".
So in my last post I pondered, worried, procrastinated and generally complicated the process.
Today I sat down and in the space of 3 minutes I have my list.
I know who I am.
I know what I stand for.
I stand for FAMILY.
It is the reason I wake up in the morning. I am a peaceful person but if you so much as look funny at one of my family I will rip you apart. I will love, guard and protect them until my last breath. I am so blessed to have my children and I do not take that gift for granted. I am beyond blessed to have The Man I Married and although I occasionally forget to say it, I am forever grateful that he chooses to stand by my side. My Mum and Dad, Sister and Brother, and all my extended family are my community, my safe place, my village.
I stand for INTEGRITY.
This might have a slightly different meaning for others but to me it means that you say what you mean, and mean what you say. It means you live with honesty and loyalty. It is what stops you from spreading or listening to gossip, it is what makes you look me in the eye and speak the truth, even if it is hard to say. It means being willing to have no friends rather than false friends.
I stand for ACCEPTANCE.
I accept that my personality and lifestyle may not suit you, and I ask that you respect my right to live differently. I ask that you accept my children as the perfectly formed individuals they are, and don't judge them by society standards of normal. We are all equal, we are all here for a purpose, and accepting the diversity of lifestyles, personalities and choices is the first step in creating a truly united world.
I stand for CONTENTMENT.
If you have read my blog previously you know I am all about watering your own grass rather than looking in envy at your neighbours green lawn. I strive to be content in my home, with what I have. That doesn't mean I don't desire other things, but I am determined to be content with what I have and am right now. When change comes, when opportunities arise I will embrace them, but where I am right now, is exactly where I am supposed to be.
I stand for BALANCE.
I think it is essential to have balance in life. It can't be all work and no play. I can't surround myself with the same people constantly and never look beyond. My kids need me to be a mother, but they also need me to know and nurture myself as an individual. For every angry frown there needs to be a silly giggle. For every hour of hard work there needs to be an hour of play. And conversely, for every hour of mindless TV there needs to be an hour of dedicated effort. For every flippant silly remark there needs to be moments of truth and real feeling expressed.
I am greedy and have decided I get a sixth core value.
I stand for ENDURANCE.
Life is an endurance event. Marriage is a marathon and it takes endurance and dedication to keep running when you hit the wall. That is not to say it isn't a great thing, but there are hard kilometers to run, and it is endurance that keeps your feet going until you get another surge of buoyant energy.
Parenting is definitely an endurance event. It takes FOREVER! And even though you love your kids so much it actually aches, that doesn't mean there aren't long nights and lonely days, weeks/years of worry and uncontrollable road blocks. Our eldest son has Aspergers and that presents its own challenges. He is an awesome, wonderful young man on the brink of adulthood, but his schooling years have been grim and unkind to both him and me. He has endured ( and I alongside) to be now in his final year of schooling. The end is in sight and new horizons are sparkling with promise. Endurance.
So here I am, with 6 core values and the year 2012. I wonder what it will bring.
Have you ever sat and thought about your own core values? What do you stand for? You might be surprised. Some words I thought for sure would be in the top five didn't make the cut. The word Endurance doesn't sound like much of a value but it sits deeply within my life it could not be ignored.
If you are interested in Joining the "52 weeks to Simplify Your Life" click on the link and visit. You don't have to blog, you don't have to show anyone, but you might discover some wonderful things about yourself, and find a more simple and peaceful life.
Much Love
xxxx
Lisa
PS Re endurance in marriage- Staying committed through marriage is one thing, but violence within marriage is entirely different. When I say "hit the wall" I mean it figuratively. If you really hit walls or the floor, if your marriage hurts you, please seek help and safety. xxx
So in my last post I pondered, worried, procrastinated and generally complicated the process.
Today I sat down and in the space of 3 minutes I have my list.
I know who I am.
I know what I stand for.
I stand for FAMILY.
It is the reason I wake up in the morning. I am a peaceful person but if you so much as look funny at one of my family I will rip you apart. I will love, guard and protect them until my last breath. I am so blessed to have my children and I do not take that gift for granted. I am beyond blessed to have The Man I Married and although I occasionally forget to say it, I am forever grateful that he chooses to stand by my side. My Mum and Dad, Sister and Brother, and all my extended family are my community, my safe place, my village.
I stand for INTEGRITY.
This might have a slightly different meaning for others but to me it means that you say what you mean, and mean what you say. It means you live with honesty and loyalty. It is what stops you from spreading or listening to gossip, it is what makes you look me in the eye and speak the truth, even if it is hard to say. It means being willing to have no friends rather than false friends.
I stand for ACCEPTANCE.
I accept that my personality and lifestyle may not suit you, and I ask that you respect my right to live differently. I ask that you accept my children as the perfectly formed individuals they are, and don't judge them by society standards of normal. We are all equal, we are all here for a purpose, and accepting the diversity of lifestyles, personalities and choices is the first step in creating a truly united world.
I stand for CONTENTMENT.
If you have read my blog previously you know I am all about watering your own grass rather than looking in envy at your neighbours green lawn. I strive to be content in my home, with what I have. That doesn't mean I don't desire other things, but I am determined to be content with what I have and am right now. When change comes, when opportunities arise I will embrace them, but where I am right now, is exactly where I am supposed to be.
I stand for BALANCE.
I think it is essential to have balance in life. It can't be all work and no play. I can't surround myself with the same people constantly and never look beyond. My kids need me to be a mother, but they also need me to know and nurture myself as an individual. For every angry frown there needs to be a silly giggle. For every hour of hard work there needs to be an hour of play. And conversely, for every hour of mindless TV there needs to be an hour of dedicated effort. For every flippant silly remark there needs to be moments of truth and real feeling expressed.
I am greedy and have decided I get a sixth core value.
I stand for ENDURANCE.
Life is an endurance event. Marriage is a marathon and it takes endurance and dedication to keep running when you hit the wall. That is not to say it isn't a great thing, but there are hard kilometers to run, and it is endurance that keeps your feet going until you get another surge of buoyant energy.
Parenting is definitely an endurance event. It takes FOREVER! And even though you love your kids so much it actually aches, that doesn't mean there aren't long nights and lonely days, weeks/years of worry and uncontrollable road blocks. Our eldest son has Aspergers and that presents its own challenges. He is an awesome, wonderful young man on the brink of adulthood, but his schooling years have been grim and unkind to both him and me. He has endured ( and I alongside) to be now in his final year of schooling. The end is in sight and new horizons are sparkling with promise. Endurance.
So here I am, with 6 core values and the year 2012. I wonder what it will bring.
Have you ever sat and thought about your own core values? What do you stand for? You might be surprised. Some words I thought for sure would be in the top five didn't make the cut. The word Endurance doesn't sound like much of a value but it sits deeply within my life it could not be ignored.
If you are interested in Joining the "52 weeks to Simplify Your Life" click on the link and visit. You don't have to blog, you don't have to show anyone, but you might discover some wonderful things about yourself, and find a more simple and peaceful life.
Much Love
xxxx
Lisa
PS Re endurance in marriage- Staying committed through marriage is one thing, but violence within marriage is entirely different. When I say "hit the wall" I mean it figuratively. If you really hit walls or the floor, if your marriage hurts you, please seek help and safety. xxx
Saturday, January 14, 2012
what do I stand for ???
This week for the 52 Weeks To Simplify Your Life Challenge, I'm supposed to figure out my core values. What I stand for.
When I first read this challenge I thought "Easy Peasy, I know who I am". But to narrow it down to five or six core values is actually ....Bloody Hard Work.
Deb has given us a list to start the ball rolling .....
When I first read this challenge I thought "Easy Peasy, I know who I am". But to narrow it down to five or six core values is actually ....Bloody Hard Work.
Deb has given us a list to start the ball rolling .....
Look at all those words. Some of them are 'no-brainers' to me, but others...
Reliable. Well I like it, but I'm not very good at actually being it.
I would like to be more disciplined, but I'm hopelessly distractable and ditzy. I have a wicked sense of humour but not everyone gets my jokes.
Do I stand for contentment or adventure ( both depending on the situation and the risk factor)?
Can I stand for being reliable and also self-reliance?
I know I value friendliness, but I also crave my own space and alone time.
Inventiveness? I am a huge fan of the men who invented electricity, central heating and dishwashers, but do I value it? I wouldn't like to be without it....
I'm not vain and can't stand women who preen and polish themselves, but I can value the beauty of the ocean, or a rainforest. Do I value 'beauty' then? Can I add a sub-clause?
The urge to over-complicate the Simplify Your Life challenge rears its head again.
Why is this so hard...?
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
What went right in 2011 ?
I am joining the 52 week Simplify Your Life challenge which is the brainchild and heartwork of Debra Dane from Home Life Simplified.
I am always seeking ways to simplify my life but often end up overcomplicating the process ( does that make sense? It does to me). I love this year long view of creating a more peaceful, simple and authentic life. It took many years to get ourselves this crazy,frantic and screwed up, it makes sense that it is going to take more than a cup of chamomile tea and new filing system to un-crazy, un-frantic and un-screw ourselves.
The challenge for Week 1 (which I'm running late for...of course) is to decide what went right for me in 2011.
Hmmmm
2011
What happened? Did it happen. At first mental glance it is just a blur of cooking and lunchboxes, nursing assignments and parenting teenagers who we will kindly refer to as 'strong willed'.
On second glance, if I scrap off some of the melted chocolate and Christmas pudding, some things are starting to shine. My first instinct is to try and prioritise the listing, and have it read pretty. but this is the start of a year of seeking simplicity so I'm just going to type.....
In 2011 I started this blog. I found an outlet for my need to write and share, and along with that I found new friends. I have written about some stuff which has eaten me up, which is terrifying, but also exhilarating and freeing.
I joined twitter, which is, to me, like a new mothers group on steroids, except you don't have to have a newborn or any born, you aren't judged on your Gucci Baby Bag and there is always someone available for a chat and light entertainment. Some might call it networking, I am more romantic and believe I have found real friends.
I managed to bring all 4 children into the year 2012. They are all feisty and argumentative, strong willed and stubborn, but they are mine so none of that should come as a surprise. I look at my gorgeous almost-a-man 17 yr old son and cannot believe we have made him. I look at my 7 yr old and can't believe she's not a newborn anymore. My teenage girls are lovely and beautiful in the most terrifying way and I get to sit in the front row watch them blossom.
I passed the years nursing studies, and (if am allowed to brag here) I so far have received distinctions and high distinctions for every subject. That makes me proud. It means my brains did not, against all odds, melt into nothingness during The Toddler Years.
My marriage, our marriage, has made it through another year. In March we will celebrate 19 years of marriage. 2011 was a happy year of marriage. Anyone who has been married for years knows that there are good years and not so good years, peaks and troughs, hills and valleys, ambrosia and arsenic. The Man I Married is big and gruff with a loud voice and a stern face. It has taken my mother years to realise he is not angry 100% of the time, that is just his normal voice. But through 2011 he again showed me why I love him. He is a good man, and he puts up with all my crazy messiness. 2011 was a good marriage year.
I started going to the gym. AAARRGGGHHHH It hurts and I hate every second that I am on an elliptical trainer, but I love the endorphin high when I've finished. I am taking care of myself and making sure that I am here to write a similar blog post this time next year. I have rediscovered how much I enjoy running, and I can now run 5km without stopping or dying. I'm aiming for 10km in 2012.
I let go of a friendship which has placed me in danger more than once. I decided I'm worth more. And once I did that I discovered that actually, I'm really okay without them. Yes I have one friend less, but I have gained many more, as other people have avoided me due to my time spent with her. Isn't that interesting!!! I miss her and wish it were different, but you can't undo, and un-know things. You can't magic the truth away. It might seem weird to have this on my "Good things" list but this is a step in the right direction, away from toxic people who make me sad. Good Thing.
Yep, 2011 was a good year. I am blessed. I am grateful. I have the people I love with me, we are safe and healthy. We have choices and options. We have a pantry bursting with food and home big enough for an entire other family to come and stay ( and they do!). Life is good. Complicated... but good.
How was your year? What worked for you? Visit the 52 week Simplify Your Life challenge and join in. You don't have to blog or tweet. You don't have to tell anyone you are doing it, just do it for yourself. It's going to be a wonderful year.
Much love,
Lisa
I am always seeking ways to simplify my life but often end up overcomplicating the process ( does that make sense? It does to me). I love this year long view of creating a more peaceful, simple and authentic life. It took many years to get ourselves this crazy,frantic and screwed up, it makes sense that it is going to take more than a cup of chamomile tea and new filing system to un-crazy, un-frantic and un-screw ourselves.
The challenge for Week 1 (which I'm running late for...of course) is to decide what went right for me in 2011.
Hmmmm
2011
What happened? Did it happen. At first mental glance it is just a blur of cooking and lunchboxes, nursing assignments and parenting teenagers who we will kindly refer to as 'strong willed'.
On second glance, if I scrap off some of the melted chocolate and Christmas pudding, some things are starting to shine. My first instinct is to try and prioritise the listing, and have it read pretty. but this is the start of a year of seeking simplicity so I'm just going to type.....
In 2011 I started this blog. I found an outlet for my need to write and share, and along with that I found new friends. I have written about some stuff which has eaten me up, which is terrifying, but also exhilarating and freeing.
I joined twitter, which is, to me, like a new mothers group on steroids, except you don't have to have a newborn or any born, you aren't judged on your Gucci Baby Bag and there is always someone available for a chat and light entertainment. Some might call it networking, I am more romantic and believe I have found real friends.
I managed to bring all 4 children into the year 2012. They are all feisty and argumentative, strong willed and stubborn, but they are mine so none of that should come as a surprise. I look at my gorgeous almost-a-man 17 yr old son and cannot believe we have made him. I look at my 7 yr old and can't believe she's not a newborn anymore. My teenage girls are lovely and beautiful in the most terrifying way and I get to sit in the front row watch them blossom.
I passed the years nursing studies, and (if am allowed to brag here) I so far have received distinctions and high distinctions for every subject. That makes me proud. It means my brains did not, against all odds, melt into nothingness during The Toddler Years.
My marriage, our marriage, has made it through another year. In March we will celebrate 19 years of marriage. 2011 was a happy year of marriage. Anyone who has been married for years knows that there are good years and not so good years, peaks and troughs, hills and valleys, ambrosia and arsenic. The Man I Married is big and gruff with a loud voice and a stern face. It has taken my mother years to realise he is not angry 100% of the time, that is just his normal voice. But through 2011 he again showed me why I love him. He is a good man, and he puts up with all my crazy messiness. 2011 was a good marriage year.
I started going to the gym. AAARRGGGHHHH It hurts and I hate every second that I am on an elliptical trainer, but I love the endorphin high when I've finished. I am taking care of myself and making sure that I am here to write a similar blog post this time next year. I have rediscovered how much I enjoy running, and I can now run 5km without stopping or dying. I'm aiming for 10km in 2012.
I let go of a friendship which has placed me in danger more than once. I decided I'm worth more. And once I did that I discovered that actually, I'm really okay without them. Yes I have one friend less, but I have gained many more, as other people have avoided me due to my time spent with her. Isn't that interesting!!! I miss her and wish it were different, but you can't undo, and un-know things. You can't magic the truth away. It might seem weird to have this on my "Good things" list but this is a step in the right direction, away from toxic people who make me sad. Good Thing.
Yep, 2011 was a good year. I am blessed. I am grateful. I have the people I love with me, we are safe and healthy. We have choices and options. We have a pantry bursting with food and home big enough for an entire other family to come and stay ( and they do!). Life is good. Complicated... but good.
How was your year? What worked for you? Visit the 52 week Simplify Your Life challenge and join in. You don't have to blog or tweet. You don't have to tell anyone you are doing it, just do it for yourself. It's going to be a wonderful year.
Much love,
Lisa
Monday, January 9, 2012
Reasons I haven't blogged
Yes I know. It's been ages, ages, aaagggggggeeeeessss since I blogged. There are excuses reasons for the break in the conversation.
1. I've been busy with end of year/start of year Christmas and holiday celebrations. We might as well have installed a revolving door at our house. It would have also been helpful to have self changing beds.
2. The computer wasn't playing nicely, so then I switched back to my old computer but I remembered that I'd wiped all my passwords so I had to start over and re-remember everything for everything, from twitter and facebook to my password for Internet banking. Not good.
3. I haven't had anything to say. Well that isn't technically true, I had things to say, boring mundane things about the cleaning and cooking required and how hot it's been, but actually not anything that would make you feel like you hadn't just wasted your time reading it.
4. I had too much to say. You know when you hit a junction in the road and you make your choices and start walking but the decisions and choices are too uncertain or monumental or painful to even think about writing about them. All is fine. All is well. I am ok. I just had choices to make, and I made them.
1. I've been busy with end of year/start of year Christmas and holiday celebrations. We might as well have installed a revolving door at our house. It would have also been helpful to have self changing beds.
2. The computer wasn't playing nicely, so then I switched back to my old computer but I remembered that I'd wiped all my passwords so I had to start over and re-remember everything for everything, from twitter and facebook to my password for Internet banking. Not good.
3. I haven't had anything to say. Well that isn't technically true, I had things to say, boring mundane things about the cleaning and cooking required and how hot it's been, but actually not anything that would make you feel like you hadn't just wasted your time reading it.
4. I had too much to say. You know when you hit a junction in the road and you make your choices and start walking but the decisions and choices are too uncertain or monumental or painful to even think about writing about them. All is fine. All is well. I am ok. I just had choices to make, and I made them.
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