In the movie "28 Days" a character is told he should get a pot plant. If he keeps the plant alive for a year he should get a pet. If both the plant and the pet are alive after 2 years he could possibly consider himself mentally stable enough to handle a human relationship.
It has been well and widely documented how utterly crap I am at keeping pot plants alive. And yet I keep trying.
I gave up after several years of green thumb failure and tried to do fish.
A snap-shot of what life as a goldfish in my hands can be read HERE.
I have also managed to keep two puppy dogs alive, deliriously indulged and happy in their kingdom.
Four kids have been born and raised and nurtured and are thriving.
But it bites that I can't do fish.
I guess it's because people tend to act as though a goldfish is the simplest form of animal life to maintain. Fish are not expensive and University dropouts love to regale me with stories of their neglect and the resilience of their little gold comets. How hard can it be ?
1.Feed them occasionally.
2.Keep the tank clean.
3.Don't let the cat eat them.
For at least 8 months now, two gold comets and two.. smallish stripey? silvery ?...fish have lived in my care and I thought I was doing really well. I started to talk to them and I thought we were bonding.
After noticing the tank was a bit green and needed some TLC yesterday it was time to spring clean. I researched and only took away 1/3 of the water. I gently scooped my be-gilled darlings into a safe bowl, siphoned off their water to save for re-tanking. I drew enough water and let it sit for 2 days to allow any ammonia to dissipate.
I washed the pebbles, I cleaned the filter. I put the fish in a plastic bag with air and let them float on top of the new tank water to acclimatise.
I set my little darlings free into their lovely clean tank. They were so excited. Flitting around. Exploring the rocks and aquatic plants.
Within an hour both small silvery fish were belly up, gone to swim in the heavenly oceans in the sky.
Three hours later we said goodbye to one of my little golden comets.
The lonely little fish left in the tank looked at me with what can only be described as gobsmacked disappointment.
His little fishy lips were whispering "And yet you are allowed to raise humans!"
I posted on Facebook that I had cleaned the tank and 3 out of 4 fish didn't survive my cleaning frenzy.
The Man I Married begged me on Facebook to not clean the kids bedrooms until he got home.
Today I bought more fish.
Because I am a perpetual optimist.
Good luck fishies. You are going to need it.