Wide awake at 2 am.
Wide awake. Fearful and yet not really able to pin-point the fear.
Afraid of what?
Fearful of ???
I can feel every 'whoosh' of my blood as it thunders through my veins.
I am anxious. Unsettled.
I am frightened. My mouth dry, my hands clammy.
It's two am and I am absolutely terrified of ....
I hate these rude wake up calls.
These uninvited interruptions to my slumber.
I hate the searching through my mind, the arguments with myself.
I hate wondering where this came from and what it means.
I hate trying to calm myself, to talk sense to myself.
I hate the moment when I realise once again that this is a random, unfounded physical reaction to a surge in Fight Or Flight Adrenaline.
That there is nothing to fear,
Because my heart is still pounding. And I remain hyper alert.
At 2 am.
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