Friday, November 18, 2011

Speaking Out

Today across the world we are speaking out against Domestic Violence.
It is not okay.

Domestic Violence is an area of life which I can only speak out against third hand. I was blessed to be raised in a non-violent home. Sure we were disciplined, but it was with a loving hand and heart. My parents ( hi Mum and Dad !) may have argued sometimes as we all do, but there was never fear in our home.
What I have experienced is the difficulty in building a relationship with a person who has the scars of violence on their heart from childhood.

I know the fear and mistrust that person has in his own parenting.
I know how impossible he finds it to discipline our kids at all, as he doesn't trust himself to know the boundary line.
I know the frustration he feels that even 30 years later, some people refuse to acknowledge what was.
I know his vow to me that such things would never ever happen in our home.
I know the effort it must take for him to not react with that early learned behaviour when I am being a crazy bitch.
I know how broken his relationship is with a member of his family, and how he has hardened himself against them in self preservation.
I know that even though the scars have faded, they are still there. Forever.

It is time to once and for all, say No to Domestic Violence.
It's not okay to hit, to push, to slap or kick.
It's not okay to bully, to demean, to belittle or humiliate.
It's not okay to scream, to call names, to threaten or intimidate.
It's not okay to rape.

If you are in this situation, please seek help. Speak to a friend, a doctor, a help line, a women's shelter. Talk to your pastor, your chemist, talk to the bus driver. Tell someone. Keep telling until you are heard. Email me and together we will find help.

And thank you to the man I married, for being a man, for choosing differently for our family, and for breaking the cycle. I love you. 

If you want to learn more and do your part to help, please visit the White Ribbon Day website. November 25th is the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women, please do what you can to help the lives of many. Together we can make a difference and break the cycle. 

If you're in Australia, start here with some links: Reach Out

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Inspiration on my wall

This usually hangs on the wall in my bedroom. I painted it one afternoon a few years ago. It's very simple but it speaks kindly to me.
The man I married hates it. Too girly, fluffy BS nonsense.
His idea of art is a framed print of a Holden Monaro... Classy!

Anyhow I've been kinda stuck on what to write about. I passed my exams and have been in a limbo place. Not doing much.
I could fascinate you with descriptions of hanging washing (prefer matching pegs, never wooden ones and all underwear goes in the centre so the neighbours can't see your smalls) and cleaning up dog barf.. but I think you'll survive without that.

But this canvas here has been trying to get my attention this week. It has fallen down, been knocked down, had coffee spilt on it (don't ask!) and is generally getting in my way.

Today as I hung it again I read through the words and they just sort of 'hung on my heart'. Does that make sense? Because really these 12 words are really everything about living.  If we can find some way to implement just a tiny fragment of each into our day, then the day has truly been "lived".

So I'm going to pick a word for each post.

If you want to join me, send me an email... LOVE comes first.

Saturday, November 5, 2011

I am distracted by new things

I have a HORRID laptop .. I won't tell you the brand for fear of defamation ASUS  but lets just agree that it has been a complete bag of crap since the day I bought it. It overheats, it won't load programmes, it time-outs, it says Not Responding... it is, in fact, evil and argumentative. I have lost entire essays, I have cried in frustration over a computer that just randomly turns off in the middle of a word document- it just goes to bed.. no warning, no polite "Is it okay if I get my pajamas on" .. Nothing, just a sudden black screen. And no document saved when it finally agrees to come out and play. It has been assessed and wiped and reset and refurbed and it still is a complete arse!

Now if I only needed a computer to fiddle around on facebook or twitter, I would not be as concerned but I design on my computer. I study on my computer. I run my website on my computer. My computer is my doorway into my business, and my career. I have already dealt with the total loss of my files after my ten yr old dropped a cup of hot chocolate into my first laptop (- here's the tip BACK UP YOUR FILES ! Lesson learned. Child grounded indefinitely) But I don't want to deal with that again. I need reliability. I need certainty. I need a baseball bat and 2 minutes alone with this machine.

Yesterday My hubby came home to find me yelling at this laptop. (Yes I understand it can't hear me, but it makes me feel better okay!!)  He asked me if this laptop was fixable. Now, I chose this laptop, I investigated and made the critical choice, so it was with some humility that I admitted that I'd made a bad decision.

Hubby hugged me (Yes, demonstrative act of affection- rare!) and told me to go and look on the back seat of his car.


He's bought me a new laptop, all shiny and pretty and soooooo not the same brand. It turns on when I ask it to and turns off when I say it can. It stays cool as a cucumber and has not time-outed anything. It is perfect

It made me cry.

Even when I am married to the most unromantic creature on the planet, I know he cares. I know he thinks of me. And that's enough for me... who needs a bunch of dying flowers???Bouncing and typing in my bubble of HaPpY!