Friday, November 18, 2011

Speaking Out

Today across the world we are speaking out against Domestic Violence.
It is not okay.

Domestic Violence is an area of life which I can only speak out against third hand. I was blessed to be raised in a non-violent home. Sure we were disciplined, but it was with a loving hand and heart. My parents ( hi Mum and Dad !) may have argued sometimes as we all do, but there was never fear in our home.
What I have experienced is the difficulty in building a relationship with a person who has the scars of violence on their heart from childhood.

I know the fear and mistrust that person has in his own parenting.
I know how impossible he finds it to discipline our kids at all, as he doesn't trust himself to know the boundary line.
I know the frustration he feels that even 30 years later, some people refuse to acknowledge what was.
I know his vow to me that such things would never ever happen in our home.
I know the effort it must take for him to not react with that early learned behaviour when I am being a crazy bitch.
I know how broken his relationship is with a member of his family, and how he has hardened himself against them in self preservation.
I know that even though the scars have faded, they are still there. Forever.

It is time to once and for all, say No to Domestic Violence.
It's not okay to hit, to push, to slap or kick.
It's not okay to bully, to demean, to belittle or humiliate.
It's not okay to scream, to call names, to threaten or intimidate.
It's not okay to rape.

If you are in this situation, please seek help. Speak to a friend, a doctor, a help line, a women's shelter. Talk to your pastor, your chemist, talk to the bus driver. Tell someone. Keep telling until you are heard. Email me and together we will find help.

And thank you to the man I married, for being a man, for choosing differently for our family, and for breaking the cycle. I love you. 

If you want to learn more and do your part to help, please visit the White Ribbon Day website. November 25th is the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women, please do what you can to help the lives of many. Together we can make a difference and break the cycle. 

If you're in Australia, start here with some links: Reach Out


  1. All those things and more. I am so sorry he had to go through this. It sounds like he is a man determined that his generation will break the pattern. xx

  2. It's great to read of someone who is committed to breaking the cycle.
    Love, hugs and positive energy to both of you !

  3. Oh how I resonate with your friend. It is hard. It's not something that can be taken away or "fixed". It's a big black shadow that will always stand over you, but on the good days, you don't mind that shade, you learn from it. Like your friend has.

  4. Thank you for sharing your story and speaking out. Love and hugs. Here from the Speak Out link.

  5. We're blown away again!! MSPOY and H!!!!!!

  6. Thank you for sharing your story, one of both sadness and hope. How wonderful your husband is working so hard to break the cycle. What a gift to you, your children and future generations. x


Your comments are welcome, please be kind and respectful. We all have different views of the world, sharing your view with gentle words is Lisa