Wednesday, December 7, 2011

I fell off

I fell off the blogging wagon for a while and needed to wait for the next stage coach to come through.. here I am, a little dusty and bedraggled but here none the less.
I've had a weird few weeks, been hugely disappointed in people and felt that horrid desperate need to fly away. You know.. the moments when you think " right! that's it, I'm gonna pack up and move, quit my job/course/life, leave no forwarding address.... blah blah pity pity pity.."
I have completed my nursing placement ( awful, just awful. enough said )
The Christmas decorations are up and we are hurtling toward Christmas at a frightening rate. My plans to blog daily, or even weekly have gone out the window and frankly, I'm feeling like a bit of a failure.
I am a planner but not a finisher. I am a list maker, but also the loser of said lists. I have awesome inspiring moments of creativity but none of the energy or dedication to see them to completion. My cupboards are stocked with half finished craft projects, empty photo frames and assorted broken toys.
Even though the bio on this blog says I'm all about inspiring you to be happy and grateful right where you are, I must confess that right now, today, this week, I am struggling.
Now don't get me wrong, I am grateful for all I have, I adore my family. We are so blessed with what we have. On the surface, in a public place I am happy, bubbly, cheerful and funny. But inside, in the house when I'm alone, in the wee small hours of the morning, I am excruciatingly aware of what I DID NOT get done today. Of what mess lurks behind the cupboard door. Of the emails I failed to reply to, and the Dr appointment I missed.
I need a way to turn my brain off. I need Christmas to wait a while. I need..... I need , oh I don't even know what I need, and if I did, I'd put it on a list then lose it!
I don't know.
Just one of those days maybe?


  1. Oh I know exactly how you are feeling because I am feeling like that too - it is all just too hard at the moment. I would like to be able to just curl up in a ball and let life pass me by - but the family wouldn't be too happy if I did that. So, like you, I will soldier on in public and then cry in private when I realise that there are more things that didn't get done than did get done.

    Love, hugs and positive energy to you !

  2. Even though you don't know me, you offered advice, support and a smile to me on twitter when I really needed it..thank you! I am thinking about you now and regardless of what's behind your cupboard door-I think you are pretty cool! I hope you feel like yourself again soon. Just think of doing one thing at a time, and the rest will work itself out xx

  3. You're allowed ONE blah day - whoops! you've had it. Better get the brave pants on again or I'll come down there and sort you out!!!!! Say after me - I am one awesome, creative, gorgeous wife and mother. Remember, we don't do fail - we do learn! Love you heaps and yonks!

  4. We all have "off" days. You'll bounce back. I just read an old blog post and came across your comment. I hadn't seen it before now (it was about enjoying your kids). Your comment was so sweet and touching, I had to come find you to tell you- thanks! I hope you feel like yourself again soon.


Your comments are welcome, please be kind and respectful. We all have different views of the world, sharing your view with gentle words is Lisa