I know that every step towards independence is a good thing and I know he will be alright.
But my heart aches.
It aches, raw and exposed.
My baby is not a baby and although many moments and footsteps have brought us to this place, although I have had many warning signs and A-ha moments, right now I am absolutely struggling with the fact that my baby does not need me.
He tolerates me, he humours me.
He loves me and quickly cuddles me in the morning, fleetingly and then he's gone.
It's as though he knows that if he lingers too long within my arms, in my clutching embrace, I just might not let him go.
I know how to love, and to protect fiercely.
I know how to close ranks, and I know how to close the doors.
If you need a master in shutting out the world, an expert in finding a quiet, safe haven, a retreat, I'm your girl. But ....
I don't know how to do this.
I don't know how to let go.
What I know, (and what I don't know) with Rhianna at A Parenting Life