Tuesday, September 3, 2013

The Bath - IBOT

Steam warms the room as hot water pours into the spa bath. A few drops of beautiful oil adds a delicate scent to the air. Large fluffy towels lie folded at the step, flickering candles give a soft glow. I have my favourite music playing softly in the background. A lovely fat book, freshly selected from the library waits for me, a glass of wine on the ledge beside me as I dip my toes into heaven. I sink in slowly, savouring the delicious pinpricks that spread across my skin, adjusting to the new soothing warmth.

'Just what I needed. An hour or two to just be calm and serene'

Total relaxation. I sigh, closing my eyes and resting my head back to float in this cocoon.

Knock Knock

A whisper through the door .. "Mummy I forgot to give you a note from school."
I smile gently and softly say "That's okay chicken, you can show me in the morning. Go back to bed" .. I drift my fingers across the surface of the water, watching tiny bubbles form and disappear.
A louder whisper " Mummy I love you. Are you going to kiss me goodnight?"
I reply "I love you too sweetie, and I already kissed you when I put you to bed, remember? Hop back in bed now okay ?"
Little feet patter away.
I force my shoulders down, stretch my neck out and let the heat work its magic on the bunched muscles.

"Calm and serene...."

Knock Knock

"Babe, do we have eggs?" asks The Man I Married.
I open one eye and reply "Yes. Third shelf on the fridge."
He leaves.  He returns. "I can't find them. Are you sure we've got some?"
I sigh.: " Well they were there this morning.. do you need them right this second?"
TMIM replies " No, don't worry, just relax and enjoy your bath."
I turn on the spa pump and jets of water start to knead my back. I can't hear my music anymore, over the noise of the pump. I stare at the flame of the candle, imagining it is alive. 

 'Shhh, relax. Calm and serene, calm and serene'

Knock Knock

"Mum, did you wash my skirt for school today? I can't find it." she yells through the door.
I sit up, water sloshing against the bath edge. 
"I washed everything that was in the hamper. If you put it in there I washed it. If it wasn't in the hamper it was not washed. I am trying to have a bath."
There is no reply but I can sense she is still there waiting for more.
"I do not have it in here with me."
"Fine " she says, in that way that tells me everything is far from fine. A few seconds and a door slams.
I sit there, water cooling on my back as I try to gather myself and find my happy place again.

 'Relax. Be calm and serene, please be calm and serene'

Knock Knock


"What?"  (hissed between clenched teeth.)
J-man says through the door " Do you know I have an army cadet camp this weekend?"
I roll my eyes. "Yep. I know that."
"It's just that I need to get my snacks. We have to take our own snacks. When do you think we can do that?"
I count to ten. "How about tomorrow hmm? Because right now, I'm naked in the bath. "
J-man thinks it over "Yep, good plan". He walks away.

 'Focus! You are Calm and serene !'

The spa pump is giving me a headache. I can't get comfortable.

Knock Knock

The Man I Married opens the door and switches on the heat lamps. I am blinded. .
 "Wow, it's too hot in here." He flips on the fan and any exposed, damp skin on my body immediately puckers into goosebumps.
"Is your bath nice? The dogs wanted to say hello."
Two fluffy dogs come jumping onto the bath ledge, knocking over my glass of wine. They both enjoy the spilled contents as I watch.

 'Calm and serene have left the building'

I gaze at TMIM. I can't find words, or at least any words that will not leave him and I at loggerheads.

"Actually, I think I'll just get out."

He looks at the bath and then back at me. " So soon? That's a bit of a waste of all that water don't you think?"

He walks out, leaving the fluffy ones behind, trying to jump in the water with me. Damp puppy paws have reduced my towels to a dirty mess.

"Bonkers" I mutter. "My life is completely bonkers".

Linking with Jess for  I Blog On Tuesdays xxx



  1. Oh Lisa - I feel so sorry for you !!!! In our house the family (read Man I Married and 21 yo) know that if they interrupt me in the bath for anything less than the house on fire or a tsunami coming - THEY.ARE.DEAD. - no questions asked !!!
    One day you'll get to enjoy your bath !

    1. Next time I think I will wait til they are all at school and work then run myself a lovely day time bath. I might have to skip the wine but the silence will be worth it!

  2. LOL! I shouldn't laugh, Lisa but this was just too funny! I honestly can't remember the last time I had a bath. As for going to the toilet in private...Oh man, that luxury went out the window many moons ago! x

    1. I can manage a toilet break by myself most of the time now. Except for the puppies who sit outside the door crying.

  3. Thanks for the laugh out loud Lisa - I can SOOOO relate - whenever I get maybe 20 minutes to myself I am always interrupted. But take it as a compliment, no one can do anything without you and they LOVE you so much, even your pooches :) x

    1. Aw that's a nice way of putting it. True, I am such an awesome and wonderful presence in our house hahhaaa !

  4. I think many of us can relate to this. It seems as soon as you enter a bathroom as a Mother everyone finds a need to talk to you. Why is that?

    1. I have no idea! Maybe I should call them all together as the bath is filling and see if there are any pressing issues? I doubt it would work but at least I'd know I tried! Earmuffs may be the way to go.

  5. Oh Lisa ...my bath was a fail the other night - all the hot water gone . Hub was reduced to manservant boiling the kettle to warm it a little. I only got one little voice interrupting me.

  6. I would love to have a bath, even if it meant being interrupted. Our bath is so crappy I've never used it. But once we get the renovation done in a couple of months I am so there!

    Hope you get another chance to have a proper relax soon!
    #teamIBOT was here!

  7. I started reading this calling you all sorts of names as I was so jealous of the fact you had a bath. After much laughter as I read through I realised perhaps you were not as lucky as I first assumed. Sending some fairy wishes and butterfly kisses you way in the hope of a wonderful bath sooner rather than later

  8. LOL! oh Lisa, you poor thing! Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse ... the dogs came in too! haha I had a shower by myself without baby in my arms and without anyone coming in for a chat for the first time in forever. I felt like I'd been on a real holiday! :)

  9. Hilarious Lisa!! In the shower I get the same situation..Just think-they can't live without you!!Hope you get to relax sometime this week.

  10. Oh that's hysterical. I can't remember the last time I got left alone to soak... probably the last time I was left alone in the house (so a while then).

  11. LOL! Same situation over here!

    Hi! Stopping by from Mom Bloggers Club. Great blog!
    Have a nice day!

  12. Oh I was so frustrated reading this!!!
    We don't have a bath and now I'm kind of glad we dont!


Your comments are welcome, please be kind and respectful. We all have different views of the world, sharing your view with gentle words is appreciated.xxx Lisa