Monday, June 11, 2012

Crazy people

I've completed my first week of my final nursing clinical placement. All I am legally allowed to tell you is it is exciting and scary but I am consolidating my learned theory with practical hands-on experience.
(Translation - Hooley Dooley you guys, this is cool, and finally I am doing what all this learning has been leading to... Patients are great, teaching nurses are wonderful and I think I might have learned more in 5 days than I learned in 6 months in the classroom :-)
I also work weekends at a sweet little nursing home which is THE PLACE to go if you need to go into a nursing home. We have a house cat who is allowed to choose whose bed she'd like to snuggle on at night, the Head nurse brings her Labrador dog to work for all her shifts and every birthday is celebrated with cake and singing. 
This means I have worked 9 days straight and my kids are starting to wonder if I am imaginary.
Today is my only day off before I go back to work/placement for another 6 days, and OMG, I was looking forward to a sleep in.

Which didn't happen.

At 6am the phone rang asking if I could possibly work another shift today.
I said "No, I really need a day off. Just one day"
"No worries" was the reply, "so sorry to have woken you".
And I stumbled back to bed.
Here is the conversation I had with myself....

"It's ok to say "no", you aren't superwoman.. go back to sleep...
But it is a public holiday, who will they get in?  
They will get whoever they would have rung before I started working there. I hope they know it's the queens birthday celebration and Gwen will be queen. Her hair was washed and ready to be set for today. 
She needs more shampoo, I need to note that on my next shift on Saturday.... Saturday 
Saturday... Lani plays netball on Saturday, I wonder what time... I'll have to ask her. But if I'm at work, Jason will have to take her. He hates that. He'll have to take Sarah.
Sarah's tooth fell out last night.. oh bugger!! The tooth fairy! No, it's OK, Jason said he would do the tooth fairy thing on his way to bed. Bed
Bed. Yes, I'm in bed, stop thinking Lisa, stop thinking Lisa.. go back to sleep, please go back to sleep, stop thinking. ... 
Where's the dog? she's usually here. Oh, there she is on my feet.
The kitten isn't here though, I haven't noticed her during the night, I hope she wasn't accidentally left outside, she can't figure out the cat door yet. She'll be cold. We are crappy pet owners. She probably thinks so too. If she can think...
I wonder how cats think. If they think in sentences. Which would be pretty cool if we ever found, like if in 200 yrs we advance so much in technology that we can understand the language of animals and it turns out they are far better scientists than we could hope to be and cure cancer. That would be lovely. Although probably they just want to tell us they actually hate fish.
Maybe that's why the kitten won't eat that new cat food I bought. 8 tins of cat food the cat won't eat. Such a waste of grocery money. I could have bought milk with that. 
We need milk. I hope there's enough for my coffee. I wish the kids would tell me when we've run out of milk... how hard can it be ?
LISA , shut up and go to sleep. go back to sleep. You have one morning to sleep in and you're wasting it. Shh head shhh head... 
shhhhhhhh  shhhhh sounds like a seashell, shore, shell, shhhopping, shhuffllee, shhhhit I need to sleep. I need a sleeping pill.
ARRGGHH the pill,I forgot to take my pill, damn!! that means I'll get my period this week while on placement, great timing you idiot, why would you forget that?? Why!!  
All this thinking.
Lisa !
You need to stop. 
This is what crazy people do. Especially since it is a lucid conversation. 
If you just named one half of the conversation you'd be split personality, like in The Simpsons with good Bart and bad Bart sitting on Bart's shoulders. Except I'm not a Simpson. Because I'm not yellow. Unless I have jaundice. Which I totally don't. 
Except sometimes in a bad light or if I was wearing white.
I look crappy in white. That's why my wedding dress wasn't white. LOL.....LMAO.... yep, sure, that's why your dress wasn't white. Whose idea was the white wedding dress anyway??? It's not a great colour. Not many people can wear white without looking nauseous.
Maybe I should ring work back and tell them I'll come in. I feel bad I said no. I feel bad. But the kids have barely seen me. I need a day at home. I need to sleep. I need to start that final case study. I need to blog.
OMG my blog, how long since I blogged? I hope it's still there, I have nothing to say though. I'm so tired. And so awake. Awake and tired 
Tired and Awake. That could be a song. I should write a song. I could totally write a song. If I could rhyme, which I could if there wasn't so much else going on... but I won't write it down now, I'll just keep my song to myself for now, then WOW everyone one day with my talent.

At some point here I think I actually dozed off and dreamt about cardboard wine casks lined up at the Olympics for the sharp shooters to aim at. They were un-impressd. It made Australia seem bogan-ish. I tended to agree.

I got up at 7 am. It's so much easier to pretend you aren't crazy when you have a cup of coffee in your hand. Black coffee. because we had no milk. I need to go buy milk.....


  1. OMG Lisa You had me in stitches, as an ex nurse you brought so many memories flooding back. The over thinking, the demand at this time of year for simply just one day off. (I think my longest run was 18 days due to the cold and flu season.)
    Look forward to reading more from you.

    1. so so so tired Jodie.. It makes me wonder the difference between manic and MANIC !!! Have a late start tomorrow so I will head to bed early and hopefully shut down this over active brain of mine xxx

  2. Hope you got more sleep last night!!! You did want to be a nurse, didn't you???? Just the same, take some time out with the smallest fry when you can or you will regret it when you are old and grey! Love you!


Your comments are welcome, please be kind and respectful. We all have different views of the world, sharing your view with gentle words is Lisa