Saturday, April 14, 2012

No Longer a Mummy

Somewhere, in the past few years, I have slid from being a Mummy to being a Mum.

It happens slowly, silently and without fanfare.

There is no farewell party and no-one gives you an award when you arrive on the other side.

Here's how I know I am no longer a Mummy

I no longer feel the need to discuss my offspring's poo. Its consistency, amount and frequency no longer fascinates and engages discussion at the checkout or in the pharmacy. I actually have no knowledge of their bowel habits, and for that I am deliriously grateful.

My handbag contains a wallet, a pair of sunglasses, keys and an iPhone. No nappy (diaper for the US contingent) no wipes, no pacifier, no half eaten cruskit, no packet of Tiny Teddies biscuits, no bandaids, no bibs, no enormous sets of plastic keys which play annoying tunes. Just grownup stuff and plenty of room.

My older three kids start sentences with "I'm just letting you know..." like they are keeping me in the social loop. This is not a request for permission to leave the house, this is just a courtesy call so I can cater for the correct number of meals at dinner time.

All kids can, with two minutes notice, get into the car fully clothed, toileted and shod WITHOUT help from me. The only shoelaces I tie are my own. We can arrive on time to events without 300 toilet stops along the highway and a return home because one child is not wearing underpants (again!).

Homework is now beyond my scope of practice. I was fine with simple readers but it seems as though all learning experiences are supercharged now. I cannot and do not wish to recall what the point of cosine, sine and ... whatever the other thingy was in triangles. I can't calculate what the angle is. I can't even work the stupid whizz bang, connect-me-to-the-internet calculator we had to purchase for 9th grade. I can't really remember which are the nouns and which are verbs and I don't really care! I can get my point across in a blog and that is sufficient for me. Anything more and I will suggest we email the teacher.

The backseat of my car does not have any dangly chains of brightly coloured bug-eyed dragonflies or teddy bears. There are no golden books scattered across the floor. I don't have a backseat-view mirror to gaze adoringly at my snoozing offspring. There is not a little white T-shirt declaring "Baby On Board" hanging in the window. There are NO carseats, booster seat, capsules or racing harnesses. There is no rug spread across the seat to protect it from spills. From door to door it is grey upholstery in all its naked glory.

Lastly, I know I have moved from Mummy to Mum because when I hear "Mummy" in my house someone is either wanting something or hurting .

"Mummy, can I please... please... please... have a kitten?"
"Mummy, she's being mean to me and I'm only little"
"Mummy, can 15 of my friends sleep over this weekend if we promise to be quiet?"
"Mummy, can I go to Melbourne on train with my friends for a concert?"

"Mummy, Mummy, Mummy" as my child wakes from an anaesthetic.

Yes my baby, always my baby, I'm here. I'm always here.


  1. So true. And so great really. I love getting in and out of the car without having to help anyone.

    And as a bonus, they can work the bazillion remotes and make the tv or the blu-ray or the dvd player work AND get sound.

    And if they call me Mama... I know, like you, they want something!

    1. Hi Naomi , yes I agree in almost every respect it is great. I'm ok with things moving on but I admit when my littlest miss 7 wants to snuggle or sleep in my bed I JUMP at the chance . More than ever I am aware that u never know when the "last times " are in our children's lives .

  2. Oh I feel what you are going through.All of a sudden it hits you.Mummy no more.
    There are things I miss about being a mummy.Like when a simple kiss can take away their pain...sadly doesnt work with the pain of their first broken heart.
    I miss when the words "its ok mummy is here" would make all their fears go away.
    My girl said to me the other day she misses being able to curl up on my lap and feel safe in my arms.Those words made me fight back the tears as she has been a horror head lately.I guess in the hard times she will always be my baby and I will always be her mummy.

    1. Moving away from being their safe harbor is soooo hard . I still want to protect my kids from the big bad world . I am a closet cottonwool mumma. Am snuggling on the couch with miss 7 and the poodle and enjoying an evening of denial tonight xxx

  3. What a beautiful post... we are starting to move from Mummy to Mum, but always Mummy at bedtimes, when she is tired or upset.

    But like you, I love that my handbag is almost my own again (we still have some colouring pencils in there!), she can get in and out of the car and mostly, we don't have remind her to use the toilet!


    1. Thanks Renee, yes, when tired or upset I hear Mummy. Very occasionally, they forget they are grown and call me Mummy casually in a sentence. My heart skips a beat each time. My handbag has definitely been reclaimed and I LOVE no careseats in the car- so much more room for all their long legs xx

  4. Oh, my heart. That's where I am. Thank you for sharing! :)

  5. you're welcome! It seems this is a gradual slide, and just like in post "The last time he held my hand" you never know that you've had a last time until... it doesn't happen anymore. Precious fleeting moments

  6. One day I'll know that life is like (youngest is 2). Loved this post.

    Love & stuff
    Mrs M
    (Mum's Word)

  7. What a beautiful post!
    I don't want to be a mum yet! I'm waiting to be called "mummy" for the first time (Max is 15 months) and I can't wait for those times when he wants a cuddle and a kiss, or to snuggle in bed with us. But I'm sure, when it's his time to call me mum, I'll be glad to have moved on from car seats, excess baggage and nappies by the dozen.


Your comments are welcome, please be kind and respectful. We all have different views of the world, sharing your view with gentle words is Lisa