Monday, July 22, 2013

Obsessive Me - I Must Confess

Who are you when no-one's looking?

I am a slightly much more obsessive version of the person I am when others are watching.

I love lists, and while I can jot down a quick list in front of you, in private I will rewrite until it looks well spaced, has no spelling mistakes, is my best penmanship, on paper without blemish or tear and in the order I would like.

I like colour co-ordination, a fine tipped pen, crisp paper...
My whiteboard on the fridge looks like an easy plan...



but it took almost half an hour to complete and even now it mocks me in its imperfection. I am not certain about the spelling of potatoes, Sunday is unbalanced in comparison to the other days, and it definitely needs some green to balance the colours. (The bottom left corner of the page is also crumpled in this photo and that ANNOYS me.. perhaps I should retake the pic?)

I like colour co-ordination on the clothesline and it bothers me immensely that all the sheets in my linen cupboard aren't the same neutral tones.. what's with the random green one, and a set of floral purple sheets. With a bigger bank account I would just give every scrap in my linen cupboard to the op-shop and start over with just plain white sheets. No colours at all.

Book shelves annoy me. My counsellor (OH my gosh, yes! I go to one.. you don't think I keep all this crazy to myself do you??) has a messy bookshelf with different heights of books, different thicknesses and different themes all shoved in haphazardly. There are occasional piles of paper thrown in here and there... drives me bonkers! On my last visit I told her how distracting I found it... she thought it was hilarious and said this was all about challenging myself- gahhhhh!

Pantry items really bother me. Deep inside me is a woman who totally covets the Tupperware organisation system.

I crave it. But I also share the pantry with 5 people who totally don't give a crap that they put the vegemite back among the spices and the desiccated coconut alongside the pasta instead of on the baking shelf. Every couple of months I strip the pantry bare and re-shelve everything 'correctly', and then wait until it is unbearable again.

In order to tamp down this need to control everything into an orderly, pleasing format, I practice letting go, breathing, ignoring and accepting. I ignore the mess and crazy that goes with having a family. I don't let myself think about the towels on the floor or the bowls in the sink. The fact is, if I let OCD Lisa loose, I would clean until my fingers bled and still not feel like it was 'done'. I would scream at my kids all day for every fingerprint on the fridge, and I would probably vacuum the dogs.
Yes there is mess in my house, and I'm sure there are people who visit me who think I'm a little too relaxed about the house

But under the surface, there is obsessive compulsive Lisa just itching to get some order in the chaos, and she isn't sure she will find a balance between the two.

How do you find balance? What do you ignore to preserve your sanity?


 
Linking with Kirsty for I Must Confess On Mondays at My Home Truths











29 comments:

  1. I definitely have the opposite to OCD but have the beginnings of the tupperware organisation so that just makes me totally confused and confusing LOL xxx Cathy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL, I have so much plastic it's not funny, but no-one else in my house will put things in them, or put them back where they belong ! And for some reason I have 3 x the number of lids to the number of containers. xx

      Delete
  2. I am able to ignore the pet hair everywhere and the unwashed dishes, but I am a die-hard listmaker, and therein lies the key to my madness. Like you, my lists must be colour co-ordinated, aethestically pleasing (symmetrical if possible) and just right. If they're not, I will chuck them out and re-do them. I also like to add items to my list that I have already done, just so I have something to cross off. Also, if I don't cross off an item in the right way, I have to do the list again. It's a sickness. Glad I'm not the only one!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm a fan of the to-do list with items ticked off. At work I make lists for my work day (or night) and I get such satisfaction when I have everything ticked off and ready to hand over.

      Delete
  3. I remember a time when I was more stressed about the mess and disorganisation in my house. Somewhere I lost the care to have everything ship shape, probably about the same time the girls came along. If I tried to keep up, I'd be a crazy woman :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There is a lot of chaos and I try very hard to not care about it, but I do. The difference is I make myself not go crazy and try to stay on top of it all, because I know , no matter how hard I try I will never feel like its all done

      Delete
  4. I do chaos to control- and often think about writing lists. Sometimes I even do...but then find them under a pile of stuff a month later.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL ... then you, my friend, need a list of your lists so you can keep track of them all. We list makers take them verrrrrry seriously. ( also, people avoid us at dinner parties)

      Delete
  5. Lisa, that list is SO impressive, you have no idea. Every night my plan is just to wait for the Dinner Fairy, and guess what? She never turns up!! I know, so rude. I'm no good with lists. I've tried. I either lose the list, forget the list or have a list of things I haven't completed mocking me from the fridge door.

    By the way I really would love to see you vacuuming the dog. When I was a child our next door neighbours used to vacuum the front lawn (seriously), so it's probably not as strange as it sounds! (Yes, it is..)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Another of my problems is I hate making last minute decisions so I plan the meals so the decision is already made. I am happy to cook anything so long as I don't have to choose 'what' at 5.30pm.

      Delete
    2. I have secretly considered vacuuming the dog but they would dob on me, I'm sure :-(

      Delete
  6. I hate opening my pantry and seeing it all over the place too...maybe that's why I have aversion to making dinner.. I think I'll use that next time DP asks why I'm not cooking dinner.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The kids seem to be unable to bend at the knees or reach up, thus all items go on the middle two shelves. Why ?????

      Delete
  7. So much of what you have written here is like me.....mmm does that mean I should be looking for my own counsellor :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL everyone needs a little visit from time to time xxx

      Delete
  8. Oh, dear!!! Must have passed on this gene - I wonder which of your children has inherited?? You may be OCD but you're the best Daughter No 2 anyone could have! Love you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Love you too xxx I'm not seeing signs from any of the four. I think we can agree that the OCD has passed to Abby !

      Delete
  9. There is probably a reason we both go to counsellors...hmmm...

    I would love to make everything in my house neat and tidy and ordered but that's not possible. However, visit my desk at work and I dare you to find a piece of paper out of place...I get my neat freak on there!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. One little slice of heaven? My desk is actually fairly chaotic, but it is an ordered chaos- I know exactly where everything is. I do like all my coloured pencils crisply sharpened though and at least 4 needle-sharp grey leads before I sit down to design anything.

      Delete
  10. I am confused...your weekly planner shows a lot of time at the butchers, but your meals aren't at all heavy on the meat!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LMAO - Aspie boy 19 works 3 afternoons a week at the local butchers. We really don't eat a huge amount of meat.

      Delete
  11. Replies
    1. Sometimes it bothers me but mostly I can laugh at myself. I fully realise my need to control it all is over the top, but it's either make lists or chew my fingers down to the knuckles ! Lists are so much less painful and far less messy!

      Delete
  12. Maybe I can hire you to sort out my place. I love your whiteboard, and I do understand your need for each day to look balanced and neat. To keep my sanity, I've learnt that as long as it's in the cupboard, it's best to just be thankful for that. It will be there tomorrow :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So this post was yesterday and I can't tell you how badly irt screwed with my head today to find someone has dragged their fingers through the list and wiped off some of the writing. Gaaahhhhhh! They are trying to send me to the nut house !

      Delete
  13. I hear you! When I'm super stressed (usually when inlaws are staying with us) I put my cleaning products in alphabetical order. I possibly wouldn't be able to help myself with that book shelf and would insist on rearranging it whilst talking. Actually come to think about it, I'm sure I did that in a meeting last month at my husband's office.

    I haven't been myself lately and my organising skills have been lacking. I have three daughters who all go to different schools. Today, I thought was the first day back for two of them. Well didn't I get that wrong. Sent the wrong one to school. She ended up having to catch two buses home with a broken hand and a huge school bag because I also managed to not charge my mobile phone overnight and the school couldn't reach me to collect her. The daughter I kept at home, should have been at school and only the eldest got it right.

    I'm doing everything possible tomorrow to find my OCD mojo and get back on top of things. I think the catalyst was my laptop dying a fortnight ago and losing almost everything that was scheduled and organised on the computer.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh no !!! I would be crazy with 3 different schools I find one Primary and one High school hard enough to balance. I love the idea of alphabetising your cleaning products. We could definitely be friends LOL

      Delete
  14. I went through a stage like this with cleaning. I was obsessed and would spend the majority of the weekend cleaning the house. I then had a flat mate that was really haphazard with everything she did. Somewhere along the line, she managed to calm me down a little, it reignited later, but I now have it under control. Thank God for cleaners!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I would love a cleaner, but also feel that weird and pointless guilt and need to clean before the cleaner. Oh well at least it keeps me occupied and out of mischief xx

      Delete

Your comments are welcome, please be kind and respectful. We all have different views of the world, sharing your view with gentle words is appreciated.xxx Lisa