Monday, July 15, 2013

I must confess... I'm a Granny - Bedazzle me!

It's true! 

With so much focus these days on retaining your youth and staying hip, happening and fashion forward, the fact is I'm a closet Granny!

School went back today and I was so excited. Not because I have the house to myself again (although that is a very large bonus) but because I can get my floors mopped and my bathrooms scrubbed !

I love to stitch. As in hand held embroidery stitching. I like back stitch and stem stitch and have been known to turn a french knot or 20 in my time.

I like a good hot cup of tea, in a fine china cup, with an Arnotts Scotch finger biscuit.

I talk to my dogs like they genuinely understand what I'm saying. I might have occasionally put bows in their hair to add a little colour on a drab day.

I tend to look at 90% of what the teens are wearing these days and think to myself  "Why would you ?", and "What on earth are their parents thinking?".

I own slippers. Multiple sets. A granny can never have too many slippers.

I am suspicious of any meal that is entirely cooked in a microwave. No matter what the research, I still find it hard to believe it can be good for you. My microwave is for reheating stuff and steaming vegies.

The TV is too loud. Noises are too loud. When my kids have their music blaring I wince and look for dark corners to hide in.

But the one thing that confirms that I am a granny is... I own a Bedazzler .


Shiny gems hot glued to any surface you like. I can't recall exactly how it came to live with me, I suspect a school white elephant stall, a small child and the need for the whinging to stop combined to bring this arts and crafts monster to our home.

Some people take Bedazzling to a whole new level of wrong...





When you've run out of clothing to glam up, you can always bedazzle your car..


Your face...


Your Taco...



Or your Va-Jayjay...




Disturbing in every way. I'm not sure my household is ready for this level of sexy! 

So come on, it's time to 'fess up. What do you have hidden in the back of your cupboards?

Linking up with Kirsty from My Home Truths , for I Must Confess on Monday



20 comments:

  1. I haven't done needlepoint in forever although I did used to enjoy it heaps. Now my poison is crocheting blankets for charity !!!! While wearing my bi-focals / multi-focals !!!
    I look at a lot of people and think "Do they not have a mirror at home ?"
    I talk to our dogs too - but mainly because I feel sorry for them at home all day by themselves !!!!
    I wouldn't be cleaning anything if I had a choice and I don't have a bedazzler although I can see the reasons why you may have one !!!LOL
    Have the best week Granny L !
    Me

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    1. Ohhh I do love a bit of crochet too. My Granny taught me a long long time ago!
      Obviously those who have Bedazzled Va-Jazzles have mirrors at home, and their own built in disco balls -Err ahem - *blush!*

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  2. Oh, I just lost it at the bedazzled vajayjay! Really??! I don't have a Bedazzler, but I do talk to my animals (they listen to me more than the kids do!), and I actually own a pair of Homy-Ped shoes, you know the ones they sell in the chemists for old people?! Actually they were a gift from my mum (I was about 20 at the time, no idea what she was thinking!) and I've never actually worn them!

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    1. Yes really. Next time you're bored just google Vajazzled ... Oh my lordy their are some very inventive people out there. And because I am the kind of person I am, when I look at that picture above, all I can think is the one that says 'I do' isn't straight. It's like they ran out of rhinestones on the left top line.

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  3. Really loud LOL!!!
    Dang this post sounds so much like me - the me I like to hide away and play with when the fam have gone out!
    I do love fine things, cardigans, geez I want a Bedazzler and have been actively seeking one for some time! In fact, I bought my daughter a version for Christmas last year which was packaged with a whole lot more 'cool.' I had secret intentions to use it to my heart's content. (A denim jacket was in mind - just like the TV commercials of the '80's)!
    Granny rocks and brave of you to confess it out loud!
    I am too scared to come clean about the real me and keep the polished exterior cool and shiny to deflect the real, hand stitched interior!

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  4. oh Lisa you made me laugh so much!! If I was wearing bedazzler jewellery it would have fallen off! Not sure which is more disturbing-the fact you think you are a granny or the bedazzler photos! You made my Monday!

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    1. LOL, my work here is done then xxx Every one needs a laugh on a Monday!

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  5. I used to have a readers choice on my blog and one of my readers asked me to write about v-jazzling. That stuff is cray cray. I don't think it is something I could do...hot clue guy near my lady garden is not high on my list of priorities.

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    1. LOL LOL LOL hot glue and pubic hair.. who looked at that and thought5 "I've got a brilliant idea!" ? There is not a single sign, word, colour or emblem I love enough to have it hot glue gunned to my girlie bits. Cray cray is right !

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  6. Oh I love this.
    I am so like you Lisa,but for the bedazzler.
    Closet grannies unite :)xx

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    1. I think there are more of us closet grannies than the world would like to admit. I'm okay with being a crocheting, stitching granny.. I can lend you my bedazzler :-)

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  7. Those pics are gold Lisa!! Was giggling at the first & snorting by the time I reached the bedazzled va-jayjay! Who does that!?!?! I can check off all the closet granny stuff apart from the beguiling bedazzler - but now kind of wish I had one!! Hahaha!

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    1. If you get one we expect pictures (with tasteful loveheart covering the 'dodgy' bits). Hoestly the Bedazzler pics bring out the very worst Kath and Kim in everyone . Very sparkly arkly

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  8. Not a bedazzler, but I might need to get one! My granny collection includes cut crystal and many doilies. Courtesy of my grandma, funnily enough.

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    1. I have my granny's teacups, they are just divine to have a cup of tea from, so fine and delicate. I went through a doily collecting phase too but mostly I have embroidery thread, quilting fabric and a few thousand rhinestones.

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  9. I'm a bit of a granny myself - I do like a hot cup of tea, normal clothes and a bit of cross-stitching on occasion. I do not have the joy of owning a bedazzler but seeing those photos I don;t think I'm missing out on much! i love this Lisa - thanks so much for linking up this week and giving me a good laugh!

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    1. I design stitcheries over at www.buttonbliss.com, the beauty of it is a project is completed in a fraction of the time taken to cross-stitch something. Perhaps I should work some BeDazzle beads into the designs...

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  10. I'm not a bedazzler, don't own slippers and cannot cross-stitch, but I do agree with you on 3 points: tea in a china cup, Arnotts Scotch Fingers are the best biscuits, and I talk to my dog and cat as if they understand me. ("No, you have to go outside now while I get the girls. I'll come back though"; "No, get off, those are clean towels!" etc)

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  11. I call myself a bit of a granny as well. I love my slippers, aka "hoodies", love scotch finger biscuits, especially the chocolate coated ones. Hadn't heard of the bedazzler but very impressed.

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  12. OK, so those bedazzled photos have slightly disturbed me, but I will admit a little granny-ness. I love cups of tea and going for high tea. I can't walk around town listening to music on headphones anymore like I used to. I'm so worried about getting hit by something I can't hear and I can't have music up nearly as loud as I used to at home or in the car. I still listen to Triple J and alternative music though. I think I maybe holding on to my youth with as much grip as I can. I'll probably still be getting tattoos in my 60s! V.

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Your comments are welcome, please be kind and respectful. We all have different views of the world, sharing your view with gentle words is appreciated.xxx Lisa